By Dave Millhouser

"Do you have a drill press?" asked the bus salesman.

The sales rep was standing next to George, the owner of a badly burned bus, and had just pried a piece of melted aluminum off the coachs side.

The new Eagle had been cruising on Connecticuts Interstate 95 when some kids transporting a mattress on the roof of a car suddenly let it go. It slid under the bus, jammed and burst into flames.

The blaze was spectacular and photogenic. Fortunately there were no injuries.

Within nanoseconds of the TV report, George got a call from his bus salesman, asking if he needed any help "identifying parts" for the repair. This is code for "Can I sell you another bus."

George nodded towards the drill press, and watched the salesman drill a hole in the aluminum nugget. "Whatcha doing?" asked George.

"Making a key chain out of your bus" replied the (heartless) salesman.

Every time theres a bus fire, huge headlines erupt, and news anchors gush that everyone on the bus barely escaped with their lives (and every appendectomy is JUST before that sucker was about to burst!).

A bit of research indicates that, prior to the truly horrific Hurricane Rita bus in 2005, we hadnt had a fatal fire since sometime in the 1950s, and that one involved a head-on collision.

Thermal Incidents (more salesman code words) are serious and highly visible, but thankfully injuries and death are rare. In real life, the major significance of most fires are public relations and economic.

What do you do when your coach is seriously damaged? Your insurance company (which will be footing the bill) is going to have major input.

If the coach is reduced to a pile of smoldering bussy protoplasm, or is 20 years old, the decision becomes a no-brainer. Its totaled.

The age and value of the coach weigh heavily; youre not going to put $100,000 into a bus worth $80,000.

If you (and your insurer) are teetering on the edge, here are some considerations. Hopefully they make sense, not just for fires, but for any major body repair.

Think about your season. If its a close call, and the decision is made to repair the bus, can you afford to be without it? In the current climate, buying a replacement can be quick (refer back to "heartless salesman").

Some repair facilities, particularly those affiliated with manufacturers, may lend or lease you a bus if you give them the repair job. Will your insurer go for that? The loaner or leased coach is a great motivator for the repair facility to get the job done quickly.

Restoring burned buses is difficult. Getting the smoky smell out is never easy. Modern buses have lots of fabric inside and odors cling to it. Insist on a thorough cleaning (or fabric replacement), and dont accept a repair that doesnt pass the "sniff test."

Depending on the buss age, repairing the electrical system can be tricky. Patching electrical stuff is never a good idea, but it can be a disaster with the new, multiplexed systems. Youre going to want a new wiring harness in the damaged area. Many manufacturers dont have those puppies lying around, so you may need to push.

Youll also want to be sure the frame and components havent been compromised by heat. Damage is not always visible. Years ago we salvaged wheels off a burned Scenicruiser. They looked fine but every one cracked within a month. That could have been nasty.

Modern body shops have sophisticated equipment that can restore any bus to like-new condition -- if it makes sense economically. If its decided to repair the coach, make sure the chosen facility is equipped to do the job right.

Insurers are sensitive about fires, and the cost of repair, so the manufacturer has a major stake in helping you get things right. Involve their tech reps and parts people as soon as possible. It will help with the quality of repair, and keep your body shop honest.

Some bus builders have parts folk dedicated to identifying and expediting major body parts. Find them and love them. Theyre the ones who can tell you if the body shop REALLY is waiting for parts.

The decision as to whether to repair or replace can be a contentious one. Your insurance broker can be helpful. If youve built a healthy relationship, this is when it pays off.

Find out what caused the fire... and dont do that anymore.

If its something beyond your direct control (turbochargers leap to mind), stay in touch with the manufacturer and do updates quickly.

Whether this ones your fault or not, driver training and maintenance can control the frequency and severity of fires, and reduce the chance of injury.

By the way, I still have that key chain.

Dave Millhouser is a bus industry marketing consultant and freelance writer. Contact him at: dave_millhouser@hotmail.com.