A slightly modified version of this "Letter to the Editor" probably could be sent to dozens of newspapers all across the U.S.:

The City of St. Petersburg, Fla., announced yesterday the opening of a new fast-food facility called Transit Burger and Fries.

Commenting on the public enterprise, Manager Carl Stoleurbucks commented: "We're pleased to bring this much needed service to the residents of our community."

Using public subsidies originally intended for the Community Harvest to Feed the Poor program, Transit Burger and Fries proposes to reduce kitchen congestion, utility consumption and individual discretion by offering 10-cent hamburgers, nickel fries and 25-cent milkshakes. "Burgers are free on Saturdays," noted Mr. Stoleurbucks.

"And, by way of a federal grant, we're chartering trolley buses to shuttle folks in for free."

In a related development, McDonald's, Burger King and Hardees announced the closing of all their stores within a 25-mile radius. A spokesman for Burger King lamented: "We hate this, mostly for our dedicated employees, many of who really needed these jobs. But we simply cannot compete with a taxpayer-subsidized restaurant."

He went on to say: "We estimate that every burger these guys serve costs taxpayers 87 cents but, hey, we're opening seven new stores in China next week alone where free-market forces and public accountability are viewed as a source of pride."

OK, we're kidding . . . kind of. Ridiculous? Maybe.

Welcome to the bus industry where private operators must compete with weak-kneed public transit directors and irresponsible politicians who insist on wreaking havoc on private bus and motorcoach companies by using taxpayer money.

Having largely failed to facilitate their original mission of urban renewal, publicly funded transit systems essentially reinvented themselves as masters of the congestion mitigation universe, and after hundreds of billions of dollars actually convinced something less that 2 percent of commuters (please note this estimate utilizes formulas that make college trigonometry look like third-grade math) to actually get on a public transit bus and go to work. Taxpayers have cheerfully (OK, now we're being facetious) funded public transit agencies, not because they want to actually ride one of the buses to work, but rather with the hope their neighbor will ride the bus, thus taking one more car off the road.

Never mind that the best congestion mitigation is, well, congestion, and that fewer cars on the highway encourages more cars on the highway.

Human nature; go figure.

Having failed to deliver on few, if any, of their promises, public transit agencies have always found that a shuttle to a concert, car races, festivals, golf tournaments or perhaps even a convention or two might, at the very least, appear as if they were actually doing something.

Of course they had no mandate or funding for these purposes. And these types of services are, by federal law, the domain of the private bus industry. But, "what the heck," and "maybe we won't get caught," seems to be the attitude of public transit managers.

Besides, it might be an opportunity to wrangle a free ticket to that Springstein concert (oops, we did it again).

The bottom line?

For years The Looper in St. Petersburg has engaged in this type of activity, robbing taxpayers and causing financial havoc for private bus and motorcoach companies. This is the thanks the private bus industry gets for investing millions of dollars in local infrastructure and generating thousands of jobs.

Of course, it's not funny, but it is true and it is time the corruption stopped. The Pinellas Suncoast Transit Authority, which provides the trolleys for the Looper, is attempting to put an end to it but the taxpayers of St. Petersburg's fiscally irresponsible (about those Springstein tickets?) politicians find old habits hard to break.

Their resistance is suspect at best. The private bus industry needs your help. Call or write your local politicians and tell them to stop using and wasting your tax dollars to hurt private industry. Remember their actions when next you vote. The job and business you save just might be your own.

With thanks to Ken Presley, vice president of industry relations at the United Motorcoach Association.