"Whats the ugliest bus youve ever sold?"

A bunch of bus salesmen were at a meeting when one of them popped the question.

Like a Gilbert and Sullivan chorus, they chanted in unison -- "Anvil Bus Lines." (Clearly, the name has been changed to protect me).

Anvil is a well run operation . . . with a gift for picking ugly fabric for its seats.

You may spend a ton on exterior graphics but a case can be made that a coachs interior tells passengers even more about your company. Graphics impact potential clients, but it is current customers who must live with a buss interior for hours at a time.

Start with the given: Spotless interior sidewalls and ceiling, no broken seats, and clean fabric that covers the whole seat. Years ago that was easy. The interior of a new bus looked like the inside of a refrigerator, and 20 years later it still looked the same.

Manufacturers offered three mottled fabrics, and you picked one that looked best when stained.

Deregulation and the introduction of European luxury coaches changed all that. Fabric became optional (then, standard) on sidewalls, package racks and ceilings.

Passengers loved the ambience, fabric absorbed engine and road noise, and crafty manufacturers found it cheaper to install than the plastic and metal it replaced.

Some operators ordered special seat fabric sporting their logo, while others experimented with two-by-one seating, galleys, leather seats and carpeted aisles.

Each of these ideas was successful in some operations, and each cost money. Even if you dont have to clean, patch or repair them, some features impact resale value. Used coach buyers are looking for utilitarian equipment, not low density buses with "your" interior. If youre buying used, bear in mind that refurbishing the interior can cost as much as rebuilding the engine.

Choices you make on a new, or used, bus fall into two general categories. Every decision should enhance your customers experience, but some choices are neutral with regard to residual value, and others will reduce it.

New seat covers and cushions, refurbished sidewalls and ceiling even a new set of seats (depending on the coachs age) may improve resale, and cant hurt. Dirty seat covers can be steam cleaned (if youre going to do this, take the seats out and thoroughly clean the "nekked" bus too). Adding cupholders or tray tables might make sense.

Low density seating, leather seat covers, carpeted floor and galleys all may make sense, but not only do they need to pay for themselves while you own the bus but each of them will reduce resale value. There are ways, however, to reduce the hit on many of these features.

The risk of installing two-by-one seating can be reduced by re-doing an older bus (a 96-inch-wide model is ideal), or finding a bargain on the seats. And, who cares about 6 inches when youve only got 3 seats per row?).

If youre trying this with a new coach, its critical to already have a market identified because if things dont work out youre going to have to drop $20,000 on a set of seats to make the bus viable (and pray the reading lights line up).

If carpeting makes sense, use removable (in fact, consider having a spare set, so you can get one cleaned while using the other). An inexpensive alternative (stolen from a competitor) is a strip of plastic carpet runner, installed upside down in your aisle. Upside down, so it wont collect dirt this strip of plastic gives a plush feel. It protects (or disguises) your rubber floor, and you hose it off when it gets grungy.

When you have a choice of floor color, lighter is best. It doesnt show dirt and lightens the interior of the bus.

You can buy "dry" galleys that bolt in place of a seat. They work fine and on a given trip you can choose between extra seats, or the galley. It puts you in position to charge for galley service.

Flexibility is key in either new or used coaches. Some of these choices are risky, so the trick is to minimize your exposure. If you buy a new coach and order two-by-one seating, specify reading light modules for a full complement of seats, so you can convert if need be.

Some companies create an interior that is uniquely theirs. Proprietary fabric, seats and so on can be terrific. But remember that when you sell that coach, it will be operated (with your special "stuff") by someone who you cant control, and who may not represent you well. Give thought to minimizing that effect.

It sounds silly but you cant see a coachs sexy graphics from inside the bus. Your customers will quickly forget curb appeal if they spend hours riding in a bland or dirty interior.

Anvils long-term success has been a result of quality management, but you might wonder how much more successful theyd be if they hadnt (metaphorically) dragged an ugly interior around like, well, an anvil.